I have found a few blogs on being a victim advocate. Since the field does not have enough of advocates, due to budget cuts and funding, the blogs are dated. What I have come up with is the reason why I want to persue this career and information I have been able to gather from prosecutors and defense attorneys. Their advice has been invaluable along the way.
This term was like the rest in that I had the best of intentions on getting all my work done in a timely manner, all the while the nightmare of the past year continues to play out in my life. Last year my brother was murdered while he was walking out of work to the parking garage next to the refinery he worked at. The man who shot him stole $28.00. Yep this is what a life is worth these days. For months the State of Texas looked for the man and couldn't find him. As the year anniversary of my brother's death approached the police received a tip and subsequently the man was arrested. Yea my family thought! Yea because some justice would happen. We couldn't have an open casket because my brother had no face. So some sort of justice for him would be nice. Three weeks ago the trial ended. The man, who was a MS13 gang member, was let go on a technicality. Apparently there was information that was not shared during the discovery process. Yep I do not understand how a person can blow off someones face for $28.00, admit that they did it, and walk out of court a free person. I have been trying to digest this for three weeks now... The man will not be tried again because of the Double Jeopardy laws, which means that once you are tried and found not guilty, you can not be tried again for the same crime. Sadly, this man will kill someone else and it is a fact! He was caught because he was assaulting another person but that person lived. Go Figure!
From everything I have been told by prosecutor's, victim advocates and defense attorneys, to be an advocate you have to volunteer. This means that you have to volunteer at domestic abuse shelter's, homeless shelters, police departments and/ or live through experience a violent crime. The reasoning behind it is that it is great to have book smarts but it does not compare for actual " street experience." I can not help but wonder if my brother's murder and the injustice that happened at trial counts as " street experience". I do believe that it certainly does! I think I can understand pain and have empathy for others. I do not wish the pain on anyone else. So I have found that I have two choices in life, a) get up and follow my dreams of having this career so I can help someone who will need it, or b) curl up and let anger make me loose focus and direction to it consumes me. I am fighting for option A. Otherwise this man wins and continues to have power and control over me and my family.
Yes I do think that I need to refocus my energies a tad. I need to focus on getting better grades and completing all that I started. This is another suggestion of all the people I have talked to. It is solid advice. Because there is such a great need for advocates but budget cuts have limited jobs, I need to really work hard so that I stand out. Maybe it is how I am handling or honoring my brother's memory. Follow my dreams because someone is going to need my help one day. The point is to never give up but always get back up when life throws you down , and stand up tall!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Final Word of Wisdom for Everyone- Dawn Style
Well here we are at the end of this class. I have had so much fun in this class. I also have really enjoyed and have learned so much because of all of my classmates. Here are some parting words of encouragement and wisdom.
Each of you are destined for Greatness! Think about it like this, no matter what age you are, you can relate to this. We live in a world that is both awesome and small. Everything is connected. Think Facebook. On a much larger scale, companies and organizations from hospitals to small companies all interact with companies oversees. 15 years ago, there was no such thing as distance education. The economy was also stable all over the world as well. Somewhere along a idiotic group of people found greed to be more important than doing what is right. Here we are folks! Every one of us has been touched by the economic crisis in some way. Yet we all have decided to make an investment in ourselves by going to school! So let's all make a decision right here and right now to be a heck of a lot smarter and wiser on our decisions than the idiots who let greed ruin it for everyone. We are all destined for Greatness! Let our talents shine and use our powers to give back. If we all do this in our own way then we can help make things better for everyone we meet. This is really what this class has been about. We all learned that we have talents, strengths and skills, we need to use these daily and be ethical all the time. I am so happy that I got to know all of you. You are all very wise people. I look forward to hearing where everyone is in 10 years and how you changed the world! Think it's impossible? It is not.
NEVER give up on your dreams! NEVER give up on yourselves. There will be roadblocks along the way. Some will be our own doing but most likely it will be someone else who puts them there intentionally or not. Remember it took Thomas Edison 1000 tries before he discovered how to harness electricity! What would have happened if he had given up at time 1000? We would be all sitting in the dark! There would be no distance education, no world communications, no I phone or I pad, no X box or PS3 No microwave and " God forbid" no Facebook. So thankfully he decided to try 1001 times. Point is Never Give up!!!
In closing, remember All of you ROCK!!! It has been an honor and a privlege to know all of you. I hope to see you again in other classes.
Link to my Reflections
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1xN-M5N79DxdMBgp1SuNeegWumUkrdSZ79Uzky6NiF5Q/edits.
:
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1gJcns4w0I1_nAufowgSQGy65wV83vpv_CWrkjBdvBxU/edit?pli=1
Each of you are destined for Greatness! Think about it like this, no matter what age you are, you can relate to this. We live in a world that is both awesome and small. Everything is connected. Think Facebook. On a much larger scale, companies and organizations from hospitals to small companies all interact with companies oversees. 15 years ago, there was no such thing as distance education. The economy was also stable all over the world as well. Somewhere along a idiotic group of people found greed to be more important than doing what is right. Here we are folks! Every one of us has been touched by the economic crisis in some way. Yet we all have decided to make an investment in ourselves by going to school! So let's all make a decision right here and right now to be a heck of a lot smarter and wiser on our decisions than the idiots who let greed ruin it for everyone. We are all destined for Greatness! Let our talents shine and use our powers to give back. If we all do this in our own way then we can help make things better for everyone we meet. This is really what this class has been about. We all learned that we have talents, strengths and skills, we need to use these daily and be ethical all the time. I am so happy that I got to know all of you. You are all very wise people. I look forward to hearing where everyone is in 10 years and how you changed the world! Think it's impossible? It is not.
NEVER give up on your dreams! NEVER give up on yourselves. There will be roadblocks along the way. Some will be our own doing but most likely it will be someone else who puts them there intentionally or not. Remember it took Thomas Edison 1000 tries before he discovered how to harness electricity! What would have happened if he had given up at time 1000? We would be all sitting in the dark! There would be no distance education, no world communications, no I phone or I pad, no X box or PS3 No microwave and " God forbid" no Facebook. So thankfully he decided to try 1001 times. Point is Never Give up!!!
In closing, remember All of you ROCK!!! It has been an honor and a privlege to know all of you. I hope to see you again in other classes.
Link to my Reflections
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1xN-M5N79DxdMBgp1SuNeegWumUkrdSZ79Uzky6NiF5Q/edits.
:
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1gJcns4w0I1_nAufowgSQGy65wV83vpv_CWrkjBdvBxU/edit?pli=1
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Supposed Link to Group B's presentation
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/present/edit?id=0AbZPhdrq-4sdZGNnNzh2bmZfMGZ6M2Zocmdy
I copied and pasted the link. So I am hoping that this really does work.
I copied and pasted the link. So I am hoping that this really does work.
Monday, February 20, 2012
STRESS RELIEF 101 DAWN'S WAY
The scope of this assignment was to go out and do something. Well, I have my own few ways of dealing with stress. I refer to them as Stress Relief 101 Dawn's Way. I hope that you get a couple of giggles and may even try some as well. I have a very stressful life! I admit this fully. I have always realized that there are degrees of stress. So I have the Coffee Cup Stress Relief as a cleans All! I have the relax and rejuvenate stress relief and I have the Keep from Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy.
On a normal basis, I find that I have to rejuvenate or recharge my batteries. Let's face it life throws a ton of stuff at us that we have to deal with. Some of it is our own stuff and some of it is not our stuff at all, yet it creeps into our lives constantly. Our own stuff is things like how do we balance our check books, the bills, our kids lives, work, school, our parents and illnesses. Things that are not ours but we own them as well are the stupid things that people throw at us. In my case it is the murder of my brother, the neighbor's who have no life and I should not have one either, the drama queen at work etc. So I have found that I have to have at least 1 hour per day where I just sit under the stars. You see I found that I also had to take a long hard look at how I can just deal with people or not... I established boundaries! It has been a process but it has been a well worth process. If it does not pertain to me or my family in an immediate way, I don't let it in. This is not to say that there are some things that do not come into my life that I am forced to deal with, but I try to keep a balance by fulfilling my life with positives.
I also am very into scentology. Yes it really does exist. Sometimes I burn a scented candle while I am sitting under the stars. See when you look at the stars on a clear night you begin to see constellations that you never saw before. Did you know that it takes the planet Venus 5 years to make its rotation? It makes a star shape in the sky that takes 5 years to complete. You get to see the coolest meteor showers too. It all reminds us that they have been there for hundred's of millions of years. So what ever we are going through is temporary and quite small when you think about it. I am not trying to lighten anything that someone else is going through. I realized this when I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. It somehow helped me when I decided to leave. I think it was the one habit I got into that made me feel better and I have carried it through life since then. The point is that when you smell something that you find pleasant or sit doing something quiet, it is YOU time, and you will find that you slowly put things into perspective and stress goes away. I can not change the fact that my brother was murdered over $28 or that the perpetrator has not be caught nor will be, I can control what I do with my life. I can control my grades, my time with my family, my stress relief and who I choose to hang out with.
The Keep From Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy is simple: I always write in a journal all the things I am grateful for. When I have a bad day, I write: Breathing! I believe that one should always be grateful for what they have no matter how small it is. Then I establish what I lovingly refer to as " Lists" I have found that there are 3 lists in life: People and situations fall into the 3 at some point. 1. The " Popular as a Fart in a Space Suite List" These are the people and situations that are the unnecessary Drama. It is the intentional things that are on this list. You know the types of people and drama they cause. Its never really your stuff it's theirs but they try to make it yours. So anyone on that list I stay away from. 2. The "Useful as a Screen Door on a Submarine List": This is the Stupid stuff that happens or people cause, or people who refuse to handle their own stuff so it becomes you issue. We all have them at work. 3. The " Normal and Good People List" This is the 85% of the people who I know. These are the people who are there to encourage and inspire you . So if I eliminate the other 15% in the other 2 lists then I am not going to get stressed out in the first place.
The extreme stress reliever is the COFFEE CUP Stress Reliever. I have done this 3 times in my life and it was about every 15 years and it saves money on therapy. Side effect is that everyone knows that I have finally had enough if I get to this point. I buy coffee cups from the dollar store put them in a trash bag and take a 25lb sledge hammer to them. Usually there is nothing but ceramic powder left when I am done. I envision every situation or person who has tried to make my life hell as I am pounding the coffee cups. It works! I feel better and in control again. The point is not to get so stressed that I have to go to the coffee cup stage. I have reserved it for situations like my brother's murder, the police saying they have no leads etc.
I also enjoy playing Borderlands and MW3 on the PS3. I find that it is a great way to get out annoyances. Life is a crazy and wonderful thing. Having less stress makes us better people and better to our families and to ourselves.
On a normal basis, I find that I have to rejuvenate or recharge my batteries. Let's face it life throws a ton of stuff at us that we have to deal with. Some of it is our own stuff and some of it is not our stuff at all, yet it creeps into our lives constantly. Our own stuff is things like how do we balance our check books, the bills, our kids lives, work, school, our parents and illnesses. Things that are not ours but we own them as well are the stupid things that people throw at us. In my case it is the murder of my brother, the neighbor's who have no life and I should not have one either, the drama queen at work etc. So I have found that I have to have at least 1 hour per day where I just sit under the stars. You see I found that I also had to take a long hard look at how I can just deal with people or not... I established boundaries! It has been a process but it has been a well worth process. If it does not pertain to me or my family in an immediate way, I don't let it in. This is not to say that there are some things that do not come into my life that I am forced to deal with, but I try to keep a balance by fulfilling my life with positives.
I also am very into scentology. Yes it really does exist. Sometimes I burn a scented candle while I am sitting under the stars. See when you look at the stars on a clear night you begin to see constellations that you never saw before. Did you know that it takes the planet Venus 5 years to make its rotation? It makes a star shape in the sky that takes 5 years to complete. You get to see the coolest meteor showers too. It all reminds us that they have been there for hundred's of millions of years. So what ever we are going through is temporary and quite small when you think about it. I am not trying to lighten anything that someone else is going through. I realized this when I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. It somehow helped me when I decided to leave. I think it was the one habit I got into that made me feel better and I have carried it through life since then. The point is that when you smell something that you find pleasant or sit doing something quiet, it is YOU time, and you will find that you slowly put things into perspective and stress goes away. I can not change the fact that my brother was murdered over $28 or that the perpetrator has not be caught nor will be, I can control what I do with my life. I can control my grades, my time with my family, my stress relief and who I choose to hang out with.
The Keep From Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy is simple: I always write in a journal all the things I am grateful for. When I have a bad day, I write: Breathing! I believe that one should always be grateful for what they have no matter how small it is. Then I establish what I lovingly refer to as " Lists" I have found that there are 3 lists in life: People and situations fall into the 3 at some point. 1. The " Popular as a Fart in a Space Suite List" These are the people and situations that are the unnecessary Drama. It is the intentional things that are on this list. You know the types of people and drama they cause. Its never really your stuff it's theirs but they try to make it yours. So anyone on that list I stay away from. 2. The "Useful as a Screen Door on a Submarine List": This is the Stupid stuff that happens or people cause, or people who refuse to handle their own stuff so it becomes you issue. We all have them at work. 3. The " Normal and Good People List" This is the 85% of the people who I know. These are the people who are there to encourage and inspire you . So if I eliminate the other 15% in the other 2 lists then I am not going to get stressed out in the first place.
The extreme stress reliever is the COFFEE CUP Stress Reliever. I have done this 3 times in my life and it was about every 15 years and it saves money on therapy. Side effect is that everyone knows that I have finally had enough if I get to this point. I buy coffee cups from the dollar store put them in a trash bag and take a 25lb sledge hammer to them. Usually there is nothing but ceramic powder left when I am done. I envision every situation or person who has tried to make my life hell as I am pounding the coffee cups. It works! I feel better and in control again. The point is not to get so stressed that I have to go to the coffee cup stage. I have reserved it for situations like my brother's murder, the police saying they have no leads etc.
I also enjoy playing Borderlands and MW3 on the PS3. I find that it is a great way to get out annoyances. Life is a crazy and wonderful thing. Having less stress makes us better people and better to our families and to ourselves.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Week 6 Academic Advising Post
My meeting with my academic adviser went very well. I registered for my classes next term. I will be taking Composition I and Philosophy. I am really looking forward to these classes. The biggest challenge for me is the technical issues that I am still being plagued by. I am sure that these will be straightened out eventually. I am certainly hoping that they will since I am now failing a class because of them. We agreed that being in constant communication like we have been is the key to my success. We also discussed exactly what it is I want to do for a career so that I can pick classes that will help me.
I learned that Hesser has a wonderful and dedicated group of people who want us to succeed and they are dedicated to making this happen. This is important because you certainly do not always get this when you are attending other colleges. Sometimes colleges can get so big that students become a number and the personal contact and interaction is lost. I am saying this from personal experience. I am very impressed and actually feel blessed that I found Hesser. I have every confidence that as long as I put forth the effort that the school will continue to help me. It is nice to have a school that gets as emotionally involved as the student when it comes to their success.
I am sure that there will be questions that arise as time goes on but these questions will be answered in a great way.
I learned that Hesser has a wonderful and dedicated group of people who want us to succeed and they are dedicated to making this happen. This is important because you certainly do not always get this when you are attending other colleges. Sometimes colleges can get so big that students become a number and the personal contact and interaction is lost. I am saying this from personal experience. I am very impressed and actually feel blessed that I found Hesser. I have every confidence that as long as I put forth the effort that the school will continue to help me. It is nice to have a school that gets as emotionally involved as the student when it comes to their success.
I am sure that there will be questions that arise as time goes on but these questions will be answered in a great way.
An Explaination to My Classmates
I would like to take a moment to thank my classmates and our instructor for their inspiration and give an explaination;
This has been a very difficult year for me. Sometimes there are just things that happen that we have no control over. I have found that through these experiences, my relationships with the remaining family I have are either strained or strengthened. A few months ago my foster brother was brutally murdered for $28. Apparently this is what a life costs these days. My brother was in the parking garage of his work minding his own business when the perpatraitor decided to shoot him in the head.The person who committed the murder has never been caught. Since Texas is a large state, they may never catch him. After a surgery and life support we had to take him off of it when it became apparent that he was not going to be any better. I can not tell you how beyond angry I am about this situation!
When I made the decision to return to school, it was because I am trying to redo my life. Grief has a cycle like so many other things in life. I owe my classmates an apology if some of my blogs come out as sort of dark. I am still getting my bearings on things again. This is a rebuilding process for me. I think what happens when you loose someone close is that you go through this period of uncertainty. I fluctuate between anger and uncertainty on where I am going. So all I can do is be vertical and breath and know that I will come through it someday. School is my escape from the horror that is my life right now.
So when I post that I am have had to change my goals and other things it is because I am still rethinking and rebuilding my life. I think I am trying to give my brother's life meaning by trying to live it because he is not here.
I again wanted to thank you for your understanding apologize.
Dawn
This has been a very difficult year for me. Sometimes there are just things that happen that we have no control over. I have found that through these experiences, my relationships with the remaining family I have are either strained or strengthened. A few months ago my foster brother was brutally murdered for $28. Apparently this is what a life costs these days. My brother was in the parking garage of his work minding his own business when the perpatraitor decided to shoot him in the head.The person who committed the murder has never been caught. Since Texas is a large state, they may never catch him. After a surgery and life support we had to take him off of it when it became apparent that he was not going to be any better. I can not tell you how beyond angry I am about this situation!
When I made the decision to return to school, it was because I am trying to redo my life. Grief has a cycle like so many other things in life. I owe my classmates an apology if some of my blogs come out as sort of dark. I am still getting my bearings on things again. This is a rebuilding process for me. I think what happens when you loose someone close is that you go through this period of uncertainty. I fluctuate between anger and uncertainty on where I am going. So all I can do is be vertical and breath and know that I will come through it someday. School is my escape from the horror that is my life right now.
So when I post that I am have had to change my goals and other things it is because I am still rethinking and rebuilding my life. I think I am trying to give my brother's life meaning by trying to live it because he is not here.
I again wanted to thank you for your understanding apologize.
Dawn
GOALS REDONE
At the beginning of this class I created some goals for classes and my life. Since then I have realized that some of these goals have been outdated or out molded and therefore need to change or be eliminated. The rest of them need to be reworked so that I can accomplish them.
Maybe my brain is wired differently than other's but I tend to have to look literally at where I want to go time wise. So I break things down for myself. I have a 5 year plan and then a 3 year and then what I want to accomplish in the next year. From there I break things down further. Having explained how I do things, here is what I am working on for the next year.
Goal 1. Master Plan.
A) Review my Major Goals for next 3-5 yrs. Develop Master Plan with all the steps to accomplish or be moving toward my ultimate goals.
Goal 2: Creating a stress free environment.
A) The Self Reflection Blog helped me see how beneficial it can be when I am in a stress free environment to write. I will carry this into other areas of my life.
B) Carve Out a Corner of My House that's MINE! Claim it- Make it MY OWN! this is where I do all my work. Its where creativity and positive energy flow. ( I have tried this and it is amazing that it really works. )
Goal 3: Class Goals
A) Get all things turned in on time.
B) Use my planner RELIGIOUSLY!! This will help me when it comes to distractions and time management issues.
C) Work on Service Learning Project and all other major projects a head of time.
I think that much of my goals will be accomplished by implementing the skills that I learned in this class. I am also working on seeing the big picture more and how it connects to what is going on in the moment. I have goals and things that I am working on that are not " tangible" in that they are not something that I can write down and see or have a plan of action to achieve. It is important though. For example Changing how one looks at doing something may not be able to be expressed into words but it is still something that a person works on.
Personal Goals
Tone Up and be 15% body fat.
A) Develop a workout routine that inspires me.
a) Trade smoking for Zumba
b) Have fun while unstressing
Career Goals
Victim Advocate through the State Of New Hampshire.
a) Work on resume. this is a continuing process
b) Chose Classes carefully that will develop and utilize my strengths I learned I had through this class.
c) Network and use contacts and friendships I have developed over the years to meet new people in the field.
d) Interview people in the field now to find what skills I will need to develop.
e) Volunteer! volunteer at the local teen center, the homeless shelter and domestic violence shelter. Also volunteer at the VA and AA. Expose myself to the " real side" of life. Facts are that in my chosen career I will not be dealing with the pretty side of life all the time. So by volunteering I can be helpful and it keeps me in touch with what really goes on in the real world. Builds empathy but also gives me motivation to do my job to the best of my ability and it also helps me be proactive by doing something.
In a nut shell, I am in the process of recovering and redoing my life. This happens when you have a tragedy and your find that you have grown more than you realize. It has not been a year since my foster brother was murdered in the parking garage of his place of work. The attacker robbed him of $28.00 before shooting him in the head. 3 months of life support and surgery we had to take him off life support. The shooter has never been caught. This is what has motivated me to be a victim advocate. I miss my brother very much he was a hardworking man. He would want me to do something to help others but he would also want me to try to understand the type of person who killed him. This is why my goals have had to change somewhat.
Maybe my brain is wired differently than other's but I tend to have to look literally at where I want to go time wise. So I break things down for myself. I have a 5 year plan and then a 3 year and then what I want to accomplish in the next year. From there I break things down further. Having explained how I do things, here is what I am working on for the next year.
Goal 1. Master Plan.
A) Review my Major Goals for next 3-5 yrs. Develop Master Plan with all the steps to accomplish or be moving toward my ultimate goals.
Goal 2: Creating a stress free environment.
A) The Self Reflection Blog helped me see how beneficial it can be when I am in a stress free environment to write. I will carry this into other areas of my life.
B) Carve Out a Corner of My House that's MINE! Claim it- Make it MY OWN! this is where I do all my work. Its where creativity and positive energy flow. ( I have tried this and it is amazing that it really works. )
Goal 3: Class Goals
A) Get all things turned in on time.
B) Use my planner RELIGIOUSLY!! This will help me when it comes to distractions and time management issues.
C) Work on Service Learning Project and all other major projects a head of time.
I think that much of my goals will be accomplished by implementing the skills that I learned in this class. I am also working on seeing the big picture more and how it connects to what is going on in the moment. I have goals and things that I am working on that are not " tangible" in that they are not something that I can write down and see or have a plan of action to achieve. It is important though. For example Changing how one looks at doing something may not be able to be expressed into words but it is still something that a person works on.
Personal Goals
Tone Up and be 15% body fat.
A) Develop a workout routine that inspires me.
a) Trade smoking for Zumba
b) Have fun while unstressing
Career Goals
Victim Advocate through the State Of New Hampshire.
a) Work on resume. this is a continuing process
b) Chose Classes carefully that will develop and utilize my strengths I learned I had through this class.
c) Network and use contacts and friendships I have developed over the years to meet new people in the field.
d) Interview people in the field now to find what skills I will need to develop.
e) Volunteer! volunteer at the local teen center, the homeless shelter and domestic violence shelter. Also volunteer at the VA and AA. Expose myself to the " real side" of life. Facts are that in my chosen career I will not be dealing with the pretty side of life all the time. So by volunteering I can be helpful and it keeps me in touch with what really goes on in the real world. Builds empathy but also gives me motivation to do my job to the best of my ability and it also helps me be proactive by doing something.
In a nut shell, I am in the process of recovering and redoing my life. This happens when you have a tragedy and your find that you have grown more than you realize. It has not been a year since my foster brother was murdered in the parking garage of his place of work. The attacker robbed him of $28.00 before shooting him in the head. 3 months of life support and surgery we had to take him off life support. The shooter has never been caught. This is what has motivated me to be a victim advocate. I miss my brother very much he was a hardworking man. He would want me to do something to help others but he would also want me to try to understand the type of person who killed him. This is why my goals have had to change somewhat.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
What's the Real Explaination
Ok I am not really sure where these correlations even came from on some of them. I was suprised by a few of these. Some of my answers I had to change since I am a comedian at heart. For instance: More people who own washing machines are killed in car accidents Why? HMMMM!!! I really did not know. It makes me think of the thing my grandmother used to tell me all the time " You should always have clean underwear because you never know what could happen, and you never want the ambulance or hospital to see you in dirty underwear!!!" True story.
The thing about men with low sperm count and cell phone's in front pockets: HMMM!!!!!!!!! I would have said it was the radio waves that cell phones omit. The rest of the questions I had no real idea on. In a way its like walking up to someone and saying " Brown Cow" and walking away.
The point of this exercise is to make us look at the cause and effect relationships between things. It is also to point out that we all should be open minded. The answers to these questions I am sure were varied and some of the answers we all gave were probably fascinating! But there is always more to the story than what we immediately hear. So if or when we are open minded and are looking for many reasons, not just the one that pops into our heads when we hear something, we can make better decisions to the causes of something happening.
When I was a very young child, we had an elderly neighbor who apparently believed everything she read, saw or was told immediately and never stopped to think about there could be other reasons. Being that she had no family who would come see her and she was too frail to go out, my mom would check in on her. Elmira was very nice but sadly her life consisted of her tabloids and the controversial talk shows. I can remember it being very late at night and the phone ringing. My mom thought that something terrible had happened so she took the call. NO JOKE I could never make this up Elmira was screaming and crying on the phone about some ridiculious story that she swore was true. Now maybe the paper or her information source made it seem real but when you heard what it was she was so upset about, you had to look at other factors. It took my mom hours to convince Elmira that " We were not under attack and that the Green gas that was reported was not what they thought it was." My mom had to go over to Elmira's house for hours that night to calm her down. Elmira believed everything she read so when it was in the Enquirer to her IT had to be true! Keep in mind that this is a 89 year old lady who was intelligent but in her day the news never lied. So that meant that the Inquirer was news so they wouldn't lie. We found out later on that the story she had heard was about a town that had a major natural gas leak. But you know how the Enquirer is. Point of my story is that be open minded and look for the many reasons something happens not just the first one. This is the point of the exercise.
The thing about men with low sperm count and cell phone's in front pockets: HMMM!!!!!!!!! I would have said it was the radio waves that cell phones omit. The rest of the questions I had no real idea on. In a way its like walking up to someone and saying " Brown Cow" and walking away.
The point of this exercise is to make us look at the cause and effect relationships between things. It is also to point out that we all should be open minded. The answers to these questions I am sure were varied and some of the answers we all gave were probably fascinating! But there is always more to the story than what we immediately hear. So if or when we are open minded and are looking for many reasons, not just the one that pops into our heads when we hear something, we can make better decisions to the causes of something happening.
When I was a very young child, we had an elderly neighbor who apparently believed everything she read, saw or was told immediately and never stopped to think about there could be other reasons. Being that she had no family who would come see her and she was too frail to go out, my mom would check in on her. Elmira was very nice but sadly her life consisted of her tabloids and the controversial talk shows. I can remember it being very late at night and the phone ringing. My mom thought that something terrible had happened so she took the call. NO JOKE I could never make this up Elmira was screaming and crying on the phone about some ridiculious story that she swore was true. Now maybe the paper or her information source made it seem real but when you heard what it was she was so upset about, you had to look at other factors. It took my mom hours to convince Elmira that " We were not under attack and that the Green gas that was reported was not what they thought it was." My mom had to go over to Elmira's house for hours that night to calm her down. Elmira believed everything she read so when it was in the Enquirer to her IT had to be true! Keep in mind that this is a 89 year old lady who was intelligent but in her day the news never lied. So that meant that the Inquirer was news so they wouldn't lie. We found out later on that the story she had heard was about a town that had a major natural gas leak. But you know how the Enquirer is. Point of my story is that be open minded and look for the many reasons something happens not just the first one. This is the point of the exercise.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Poor Communication Skills
These two videos were a great example of what happens when people hear but do not listen. It is easy to hear what someone says but to listen you have to be "Actively Listening". The first video I think was funny but it demonstrates what happens when there are two meangs of words. It is easy to see what happens when a person is not really listening or asking questions to gain a better understanding of what the person wants or is saying.
The second video I wanted to choke the crap out of the clinical worker. First of all if the patient was not feeling depressed, she should have been after that encounter. The clinical worker was anything but sensitive or remotely listening to the patient. She was distracted and was acting as a calious jerk.
See when someone half listens or does not really care about what we are saying they tend to tune us out and vice versa. In the second video the clinician was being aggressively assertive. She was aggressive in how she was dealing with the client. To be actively listening, one is not interrupting or being distracted. In fact, ethically the clinician could loose her job for being unprofessional.
In our interactions with others, students and people need to be sensative to the fact that we do not live in bubbles. The world is a much smaller place and it is easy to offend with out intending. There is cultural diversity that is in large corporations, as well as universities. So how one acts reflects on the person or company greatly. Having some idea of who your client or professor or even other students are should help guide you in your actions. For example, in Japan, removing your shoes before entering a restaurant or home is a sign of respect. I believe that if students learn the ethics of behavior, it is really practice for the real world outside college.
I have been described as the Assertive one. I am always trying to see both sides of the issue and find compromise. I am sensitive to others. This does not mean that I do not speak my mind but I try to do it in a non threatening manner but still get my point across. My one weakness is that I absolutely hate 2 things, 1. I hate people who blow smoke, I would rather someone be honest and just explain that something came up and they could not do something ( that's honest which earns respect) and 2. I hate people who belittle and talk down to someone else. It drives me crazy. The only reason people do that is because they are insecure and having to belittle someone else is how they feel human. That is the fastest way to have me in a confrontation. I do not agree with everyone's views and opinions, but I respect people enough to listen to them so that I can at least see where they are coming from. I am working hard on not letting people being mean get me in a conflict. I have gotten much better over the years, but I know that I will deal with this for the rest of my life.
The second video I wanted to choke the crap out of the clinical worker. First of all if the patient was not feeling depressed, she should have been after that encounter. The clinical worker was anything but sensitive or remotely listening to the patient. She was distracted and was acting as a calious jerk.
See when someone half listens or does not really care about what we are saying they tend to tune us out and vice versa. In the second video the clinician was being aggressively assertive. She was aggressive in how she was dealing with the client. To be actively listening, one is not interrupting or being distracted. In fact, ethically the clinician could loose her job for being unprofessional.
In our interactions with others, students and people need to be sensative to the fact that we do not live in bubbles. The world is a much smaller place and it is easy to offend with out intending. There is cultural diversity that is in large corporations, as well as universities. So how one acts reflects on the person or company greatly. Having some idea of who your client or professor or even other students are should help guide you in your actions. For example, in Japan, removing your shoes before entering a restaurant or home is a sign of respect. I believe that if students learn the ethics of behavior, it is really practice for the real world outside college.
I have been described as the Assertive one. I am always trying to see both sides of the issue and find compromise. I am sensitive to others. This does not mean that I do not speak my mind but I try to do it in a non threatening manner but still get my point across. My one weakness is that I absolutely hate 2 things, 1. I hate people who blow smoke, I would rather someone be honest and just explain that something came up and they could not do something ( that's honest which earns respect) and 2. I hate people who belittle and talk down to someone else. It drives me crazy. The only reason people do that is because they are insecure and having to belittle someone else is how they feel human. That is the fastest way to have me in a confrontation. I do not agree with everyone's views and opinions, but I respect people enough to listen to them so that I can at least see where they are coming from. I am working hard on not letting people being mean get me in a conflict. I have gotten much better over the years, but I know that I will deal with this for the rest of my life.
How to Remember What I Read Post 2
Last summer I was working a ton of hours at a new hotel in Hanover, New Hampshire. My thoughts on that time period are that I got to meet some of the nicest people but I also met some of the biggest entitled bunch of jerks. Hanover is where Dartmouth College is. In fact I could throw a stone and hit the Dartmouth Green. Suprisingly it was not the students who were jerks, nor was it the many parents it is some of the former graduates! Lets say that many of them are polititians, and CEO's, and news personalities. Now this is not to say that all of these people are jerks but there are about 3% who overshadow the nice people. Having said this, we had the class of 1942 come to the hotel for their class reunion.
These were the coolest people I have ever met! Think about it they are in their late 80's and early 90's. I wish I had half the energy these people have! They were kind and polite and they all asked us if we would like to accompany them to their events. This included a hike up MT Cardigan and a dance. They never got back from the dance until after 2:00 am and they were all up and out the door again by 7 am for their next function. I remember asking our General Manager " Could we keep them?" They were just amazing people.
A couple of months later, I met a guest who explained to me why that generation was so awesome! In December of 1941 Pearl Harbor was bombed. By January of 1942, the US Navy had taken over Dartmouth College and several other Universities as a naval installation. This meant that if you were a Dartmouth College student and you were male, you were instantly drafted on the spot and shipped out. All other students were sent home. This went on for the years that the war was going on. Many of the male students never made it home! So when the war was over and life resumed, there was a celebration. But in reality the class of 1942-44 never graduated.
Now put this in perspective for a minute. We all remember how we felt or even where we were on 9/11. Now imagine your in college on campus and it happened. With in less than a month, your either drafted or kicked off campus, your studies are put on hold for a few years, and you are not getting any money back for not being able to go to school, oh and your still having to pay for your student loans while there's a few years of war even though you can't go to school. Oh and your classmates are dying in war overseas. Life changed drastically for these people just as it did for us on 9/11. So when the Class of 42-44 has their reunion, these people are to be in awe over.
Another cool fact about Dartmouth is that they do the Steam Tunnel Tours on occassion. Everything was run on the coal and steam boilers that are over 150 years old. So you can get a better appreciation of how things were and still are by taking the tour. Some of the buildings on and off campus are over 200 years old. Now cool side note that no one knows.: the steam tunnels are how the liquor was smuggled in to Dartmouth College during Prohabition. The Green Mountain Boys would go through the tunnel under the Norwich Inn (which was a Speak Easy during the 1920's) to the river ,1 mile down the road, and then loaded on a small boat and brought to shore,and up through the steam tunnels to Dartmouth and beyond. This went on for years.
The movie Animal House was written by a Dartmouth College Student and Dartmouth was were the movie was based on. That generation still comes and thinks its PARTY Time! ( Rent it on Netflix)
Now why is it that I can remember all this cool but useless trivia???? but I have a hard time remembering what I read? I admit that if I am ever on Jeapordy or Cash Cab and they ask about the above I am covered! But what are the chances of that ever happening. So I decided that in order to remember what I read I need to act like its trivia that I may have to use. I don't know if this will help anyone or not but: I figured that my strategy may actually work.
These were the coolest people I have ever met! Think about it they are in their late 80's and early 90's. I wish I had half the energy these people have! They were kind and polite and they all asked us if we would like to accompany them to their events. This included a hike up MT Cardigan and a dance. They never got back from the dance until after 2:00 am and they were all up and out the door again by 7 am for their next function. I remember asking our General Manager " Could we keep them?" They were just amazing people.
A couple of months later, I met a guest who explained to me why that generation was so awesome! In December of 1941 Pearl Harbor was bombed. By January of 1942, the US Navy had taken over Dartmouth College and several other Universities as a naval installation. This meant that if you were a Dartmouth College student and you were male, you were instantly drafted on the spot and shipped out. All other students were sent home. This went on for the years that the war was going on. Many of the male students never made it home! So when the war was over and life resumed, there was a celebration. But in reality the class of 1942-44 never graduated.
Now put this in perspective for a minute. We all remember how we felt or even where we were on 9/11. Now imagine your in college on campus and it happened. With in less than a month, your either drafted or kicked off campus, your studies are put on hold for a few years, and you are not getting any money back for not being able to go to school, oh and your still having to pay for your student loans while there's a few years of war even though you can't go to school. Oh and your classmates are dying in war overseas. Life changed drastically for these people just as it did for us on 9/11. So when the Class of 42-44 has their reunion, these people are to be in awe over.
Another cool fact about Dartmouth is that they do the Steam Tunnel Tours on occassion. Everything was run on the coal and steam boilers that are over 150 years old. So you can get a better appreciation of how things were and still are by taking the tour. Some of the buildings on and off campus are over 200 years old. Now cool side note that no one knows.: the steam tunnels are how the liquor was smuggled in to Dartmouth College during Prohabition. The Green Mountain Boys would go through the tunnel under the Norwich Inn (which was a Speak Easy during the 1920's) to the river ,1 mile down the road, and then loaded on a small boat and brought to shore,and up through the steam tunnels to Dartmouth and beyond. This went on for years.
The movie Animal House was written by a Dartmouth College Student and Dartmouth was were the movie was based on. That generation still comes and thinks its PARTY Time! ( Rent it on Netflix)
Now why is it that I can remember all this cool but useless trivia???? but I have a hard time remembering what I read? I admit that if I am ever on Jeapordy or Cash Cab and they ask about the above I am covered! But what are the chances of that ever happening. So I decided that in order to remember what I read I need to act like its trivia that I may have to use. I don't know if this will help anyone or not but: I figured that my strategy may actually work.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
MIDTERM REFLECTION BLOG
Be True to Yourself and Do Right By Your Kids If You Have Them. This is a motto that I have tried to adopt. It is also the advice that a very good friend gave me a long time ago. The issue is it is easier said than done. My decision to return to school has been a long hard decision. I have had previous college experience and it was an awful experience. It was a very expensive lesson on why I should never let anyone control my destiny but me! It cost me three years on a degree that I can not ever use and $30,000 in student loans. After getting that burnt, I admit I have been very gun shy on returning.
After very careful consideration I realized that if I continued to let the past experience taint my career and education aspirations, then I was not reaching my full potential anyways. This would be a bigger loss than the bad experience I had with school. So as I reflect and answer how college has changed my life so far, I have to draw on what I have learned so far.
On a daily basis, I find that I am more driven to accomplish my goals. I have found that I am more responsible than I was. I find that I use my Franklin Covey Planner more. I have also found that more people want more of my time than when I was not in school. I have to admit I have always had issues with Balance. So I am really working on this issue. Being a college student is great but if you are neglecting my family or work or self then what good is to be a college student.
My outlook on life has changed now as well. I realize that I am probably the " Senior Citizen" of my classmates at 42 years old. Most people go to college at a much younger age, this can be a double edge sword for me as well when I graduate. Lets face it everyone is going to be applying for the same jobs, no matter what age they are. I guess I look at it in this way: it drives me to learn the most I can about a subject or degree. I feel everyone needs to specialize and be an expert in what ever they want to do. My outlook on my goals has changed as well. I have found that my goals have changed very recently.
Assessing where you are in life and what you want is not a bad thing when it comes to goals. I have found that I have to clean my slate and start new. This is not a bad thing either. I think that I have come to the conclusion that some of my goals have been based on what other people have expected of me and not necessarily what I have wanted. This is probably the main reason that I have not had too much success in accomplishing them. As a college student. I have found that I have an opportunity to prioritize things and in doing so, it means that I have had to really look at life to see what are the acceptable challenges and what are not.
It has been a short time since I have began at Hesser, in this time, I have had a rebirth of sorts. I have a better picture of where I want my life to be in 5 years and in the next year. I think that by developing goals based on this will continue to help me. I want to have a career that actually gives meaning to my life. I learned that I am a "spiritual person" so I believe all things are connected. I am at the age where I believe that it is important to leave my mark on the world in a positive way. Through this assignment, I have had a change to reflect and think about what impact am I having through my actions or lack of actions. I realize that being a college student has really helped me see my part in what I want to do and who I ultimately want to be. The hard part is following through with my goals but it is part of my motto of being true to yourself.
New Strategies I am learning to use to make life work is to realize that I can not do every single thing that college asks of me. I can do 90% of it. Having said this, I am utilizing a Master Calendar. I like being able to see everything that is due and it gives me control over scheduling in other important things in my life. I am also using the time sheets. I really like this idea. I am using my planner in a better way now as well. I am also learning to say no more. I realize that this seems like a silly thing but when people insist on stealing all of your time on stupid things constantly, you have to say NO.
I am also learning to cut out all the "CRAZY MAKERS" What is a crazy maker you may ask? They are the people, and I will include situations, who are crazy and since you are not crazy, want to drive you there with all their unnecessary crisis's. Think of it this way: A lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. I am not saying that I will ignore people who have legitimate crisis's but I can not succeed as a college student or any other aspect of like if I am constantly dealing with people who want to cause issues. These are the people who do not want to see me happy in life, they are miserable so I should be miserable as well. Since I have become a college student, I have found that I am making changes in my life that are not super popular with some people but it is for my success.
In an ideal world, I would like to see myself with no less than a B in every class, to be 105 lbs again and 12% body fat, I would like to see myself in a career as a victim advocate helping people who really need help. I feel that college can help me with this dream. I see myself inspiring other's to their own greatness, whatever that may be for them. It all starts with taking small steps in college and learning who this new person is. It is a journey of self discovery. Belief is a Powerful thing! Challenging yourself is also powerful thing. What you believe has more of a impact on what happens than anything else. If you see good things then you will get good things because you will automatically start to attract them, you will automatically make positive changes to accomplish things. I know this to be true. All I have to do is clear out the garbage in my life, replace it with good goals and work hard and things will end positively.
I believe in myself therefore I control my destiny!
In having no time constraints in writing this paper, I have found that I am free in my thought processes. I am able to be more fluid and honest in my writing and reflection. I really enjoyed this assignment. In a way it is a good "dump session" in a logical way. We all need to be able to reflect and assess life so we see where we are going and how well what we are doing works.
After very careful consideration I realized that if I continued to let the past experience taint my career and education aspirations, then I was not reaching my full potential anyways. This would be a bigger loss than the bad experience I had with school. So as I reflect and answer how college has changed my life so far, I have to draw on what I have learned so far.
On a daily basis, I find that I am more driven to accomplish my goals. I have found that I am more responsible than I was. I find that I use my Franklin Covey Planner more. I have also found that more people want more of my time than when I was not in school. I have to admit I have always had issues with Balance. So I am really working on this issue. Being a college student is great but if you are neglecting my family or work or self then what good is to be a college student.
My outlook on life has changed now as well. I realize that I am probably the " Senior Citizen" of my classmates at 42 years old. Most people go to college at a much younger age, this can be a double edge sword for me as well when I graduate. Lets face it everyone is going to be applying for the same jobs, no matter what age they are. I guess I look at it in this way: it drives me to learn the most I can about a subject or degree. I feel everyone needs to specialize and be an expert in what ever they want to do. My outlook on my goals has changed as well. I have found that my goals have changed very recently.
Assessing where you are in life and what you want is not a bad thing when it comes to goals. I have found that I have to clean my slate and start new. This is not a bad thing either. I think that I have come to the conclusion that some of my goals have been based on what other people have expected of me and not necessarily what I have wanted. This is probably the main reason that I have not had too much success in accomplishing them. As a college student. I have found that I have an opportunity to prioritize things and in doing so, it means that I have had to really look at life to see what are the acceptable challenges and what are not.
It has been a short time since I have began at Hesser, in this time, I have had a rebirth of sorts. I have a better picture of where I want my life to be in 5 years and in the next year. I think that by developing goals based on this will continue to help me. I want to have a career that actually gives meaning to my life. I learned that I am a "spiritual person" so I believe all things are connected. I am at the age where I believe that it is important to leave my mark on the world in a positive way. Through this assignment, I have had a change to reflect and think about what impact am I having through my actions or lack of actions. I realize that being a college student has really helped me see my part in what I want to do and who I ultimately want to be. The hard part is following through with my goals but it is part of my motto of being true to yourself.
New Strategies I am learning to use to make life work is to realize that I can not do every single thing that college asks of me. I can do 90% of it. Having said this, I am utilizing a Master Calendar. I like being able to see everything that is due and it gives me control over scheduling in other important things in my life. I am also using the time sheets. I really like this idea. I am using my planner in a better way now as well. I am also learning to say no more. I realize that this seems like a silly thing but when people insist on stealing all of your time on stupid things constantly, you have to say NO.
I am also learning to cut out all the "CRAZY MAKERS" What is a crazy maker you may ask? They are the people, and I will include situations, who are crazy and since you are not crazy, want to drive you there with all their unnecessary crisis's. Think of it this way: A lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. I am not saying that I will ignore people who have legitimate crisis's but I can not succeed as a college student or any other aspect of like if I am constantly dealing with people who want to cause issues. These are the people who do not want to see me happy in life, they are miserable so I should be miserable as well. Since I have become a college student, I have found that I am making changes in my life that are not super popular with some people but it is for my success.
In an ideal world, I would like to see myself with no less than a B in every class, to be 105 lbs again and 12% body fat, I would like to see myself in a career as a victim advocate helping people who really need help. I feel that college can help me with this dream. I see myself inspiring other's to their own greatness, whatever that may be for them. It all starts with taking small steps in college and learning who this new person is. It is a journey of self discovery. Belief is a Powerful thing! Challenging yourself is also powerful thing. What you believe has more of a impact on what happens than anything else. If you see good things then you will get good things because you will automatically start to attract them, you will automatically make positive changes to accomplish things. I know this to be true. All I have to do is clear out the garbage in my life, replace it with good goals and work hard and things will end positively.
I believe in myself therefore I control my destiny!
In having no time constraints in writing this paper, I have found that I am free in my thought processes. I am able to be more fluid and honest in my writing and reflection. I really enjoyed this assignment. In a way it is a good "dump session" in a logical way. We all need to be able to reflect and assess life so we see where we are going and how well what we are doing works.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
How to get My Fuddled Brain to Remember What I Read
I found this article very handy. I have been using some of the suggestions for years. Depending on what the subject matter was depended on the success of what I was doing. In a previous psychology class I spent 11 weeks learning of the Journey of a Neuron Through the Brain. To be honest it was the best sleeping material I have ever come across. After week 3 of the Journey, there is not anything anyone can do to make that subject matter memberable or more interesting.
Having said this, I am the highlighting queen! Issue is I tend to over highlight. So I am going to try the sticky notes. I am good at note taking so the sticky notes can help with remembering what and where important information is. I am one of these people who can tell you in detail about something but as far as what page its on I forget.
As a useful side note Post It makes sticky index cards! you may have to search for them because Staples doesn't always have them in stock but they are really cool! It helped me in writing research papers in the past. They have adhesive on the top, like a sticky note, so you can move them around as you need to organize your notes.
The walking or moving around while reading does nothing for me. I have tried this while cooking dinner and not a good idea.
I am going to try to read the end first. The summary should help give me the general gist of what the chapter is saying. However I will not allow myself to fall into the trap of thinking that what is in the summary will be on a test. It never is.
I am one of the people who does not agree with the turn off the t.v or music in order to study. In fact one of the former heads of Vermont Special Education points out that people with ADD or ADHD work the opposite of most of us. So having the tv or music on actually makes us focus. We can just tune stuff that would drive anyone else crazy out. By the way, for most people with ADD, doing the opposite of what the rest of the world does works. I do agree with shutting off the cell phone and FaceBook.
Taking care of one's self is important whether your reading or not. I am a huge proponent of scentology. Yes there is such a thing. Think auromatherapy on steroids. They make candles that are for focus and concentration. It is the combination of the natural oils and scents that trigger's the mind to relax and focus. At first I did not believe it but I tried it and Wow! it works. Now there are obviously times when you can't go burning candles, so there's teas that do the same and other things.
Staying positive and focused it something I will continue to work on. It is easy for the stress of the other 10,000 things we have to do to creep in when we are trying to read. So reading is a two-fold thing. First it helps you escape the world and your brain gets a mini vacation from the world. Secondly when you have to go back to the world again your brain is more relaxed and able to deal with things because it had a mini break.
Having said this, I am the highlighting queen! Issue is I tend to over highlight. So I am going to try the sticky notes. I am good at note taking so the sticky notes can help with remembering what and where important information is. I am one of these people who can tell you in detail about something but as far as what page its on I forget.
As a useful side note Post It makes sticky index cards! you may have to search for them because Staples doesn't always have them in stock but they are really cool! It helped me in writing research papers in the past. They have adhesive on the top, like a sticky note, so you can move them around as you need to organize your notes.
The walking or moving around while reading does nothing for me. I have tried this while cooking dinner and not a good idea.
I am going to try to read the end first. The summary should help give me the general gist of what the chapter is saying. However I will not allow myself to fall into the trap of thinking that what is in the summary will be on a test. It never is.
I am one of the people who does not agree with the turn off the t.v or music in order to study. In fact one of the former heads of Vermont Special Education points out that people with ADD or ADHD work the opposite of most of us. So having the tv or music on actually makes us focus. We can just tune stuff that would drive anyone else crazy out. By the way, for most people with ADD, doing the opposite of what the rest of the world does works. I do agree with shutting off the cell phone and FaceBook.
Taking care of one's self is important whether your reading or not. I am a huge proponent of scentology. Yes there is such a thing. Think auromatherapy on steroids. They make candles that are for focus and concentration. It is the combination of the natural oils and scents that trigger's the mind to relax and focus. At first I did not believe it but I tried it and Wow! it works. Now there are obviously times when you can't go burning candles, so there's teas that do the same and other things.
Staying positive and focused it something I will continue to work on. It is easy for the stress of the other 10,000 things we have to do to creep in when we are trying to read. So reading is a two-fold thing. First it helps you escape the world and your brain gets a mini vacation from the world. Secondly when you have to go back to the world again your brain is more relaxed and able to deal with things because it had a mini break.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Keys For Writers: How I Can Use the Book in All Aspects of Life
I now own 4 of these Keys for or Rules for Writters Books. Hmmm!!! this ought to give you a clue that I have been to English Class a couple of times in the past. The great thing is that every time I get a new book, it is more complete than the last one. I must say that the Key's for Writers is laid out in a more user friendly way than the other ones. This may seem insignificant but its not and let me explain why this so important for real life.
First: I have several close friends who are attorneys. One who was former prosecutor for New York City and now is a law professor at Dartmouth College. When I was attending classes in my previous school, he was a wealth of information. In talking to each of them, I was suprised to learn that the most important skill a paralegal or any person in the legal field can have is the ability to Correctly Spell and Write English! I am capitalizing this because it is amazing but it is the one skill that most people in that profession do not possess! There have been many cases actually thrown out due to clerical errors. This translates into child molesters being let go or murder's being let go. So if you do not believe that being able to read and write English counts for anything then think about it when you find the released is in your neighborhood. Extreme example? It happens more than you may know.
Anything in Yellow in the book will help with the grammar and spelling.
Secondly: We live in a world where intentional or not people are out to steal from us. This can be though identity theft or car jacking. Let's face it no one is immune. Maybe I have a warped sense of humor but I know there is nothing more annoying than when I spend 60+ hours writing a paper for a Composition clas. , and then find that later on, someone has used my work. Yes this also has happened to me. I wrote a paper on BP and later found that it had been distributed online for other's to use without my knowledge or permission. I am still not 100% sure of how it happened but it did. Now I can tell you that I got a 100% on the paper I can also tell you that I personally contacted government agencies for my sources. I used my other books to see how to cite the sources correctly. This paper took months to research and to write. How you cite sources in this book can be found on p14. Now I also had to do this in APA format. I have also had papers in MLA format.
Let me tell you if the period is not in the correct place it can be counted as plagerism! Point is that I was beyond livid when I found that my work had been tossed around the internet. There are 2 things people should know: 1. Any reputable college has a paper checking service they use to ensure that the paper you are writing is authentic and not a copy of someone elses work. Meaning if you buy a paper, even a paper from years ago, that paper should still be in a system somewhere under the origional author's name. Automatic dismissal from your school! 2. With Google Docs, the fact that the work has a place for you being listed as the author may help cut down on this type of stealing from happening. It is a good program.
I found that the more I have used my book, the better my spelling and writing has become it is just natural. I found that having to use the spell checker has lessened. I still run it but I don't live by it as much. How we write and communicate shows to the world.
First: I have several close friends who are attorneys. One who was former prosecutor for New York City and now is a law professor at Dartmouth College. When I was attending classes in my previous school, he was a wealth of information. In talking to each of them, I was suprised to learn that the most important skill a paralegal or any person in the legal field can have is the ability to Correctly Spell and Write English! I am capitalizing this because it is amazing but it is the one skill that most people in that profession do not possess! There have been many cases actually thrown out due to clerical errors. This translates into child molesters being let go or murder's being let go. So if you do not believe that being able to read and write English counts for anything then think about it when you find the released is in your neighborhood. Extreme example? It happens more than you may know.
Anything in Yellow in the book will help with the grammar and spelling.
Secondly: We live in a world where intentional or not people are out to steal from us. This can be though identity theft or car jacking. Let's face it no one is immune. Maybe I have a warped sense of humor but I know there is nothing more annoying than when I spend 60+ hours writing a paper for a Composition clas. , and then find that later on, someone has used my work. Yes this also has happened to me. I wrote a paper on BP and later found that it had been distributed online for other's to use without my knowledge or permission. I am still not 100% sure of how it happened but it did. Now I can tell you that I got a 100% on the paper I can also tell you that I personally contacted government agencies for my sources. I used my other books to see how to cite the sources correctly. This paper took months to research and to write. How you cite sources in this book can be found on p14. Now I also had to do this in APA format. I have also had papers in MLA format.
Let me tell you if the period is not in the correct place it can be counted as plagerism! Point is that I was beyond livid when I found that my work had been tossed around the internet. There are 2 things people should know: 1. Any reputable college has a paper checking service they use to ensure that the paper you are writing is authentic and not a copy of someone elses work. Meaning if you buy a paper, even a paper from years ago, that paper should still be in a system somewhere under the origional author's name. Automatic dismissal from your school! 2. With Google Docs, the fact that the work has a place for you being listed as the author may help cut down on this type of stealing from happening. It is a good program.
I found that the more I have used my book, the better my spelling and writing has become it is just natural. I found that having to use the spell checker has lessened. I still run it but I don't live by it as much. How we write and communicate shows to the world.
Monday, January 23, 2012
How Facing DEATH Can Cause An Ephinay
This past week I almost died! I mean this literally! It is funny that when one is really facing death, how you face your fears. I have a lot going on in my world. I am always the one who helps care for everyone else. I am the one who throws myself under the bus for the betterment of everyone else. I volunteer and try to help kids who no one wants . This means I get to know them personally. I know which ones are being beaten, I know which ones who are hooked on heroine ( that is an issue that is growing more and more each day), I know the ones who have a parent who is dead or who kicked the kid out. I feed them find them when they disappear. Where is the State in all of this you may ask? Sad reality is that when a kid is 14 or 15 they fall in the cracks of society. What is scarier is that they are also expected to be adults one day and productive members of society. How can that be when they are the lost.
I guess I can relate to them being termed this because I was once the lost myself. Its not that I didn't have a parent who cared, I had a mother who went out of her way to try to save me but she was trying to care for another child who was with a potentially fatal illness. She did the best she could. I went to live with another family when we were in Texas. I am one of 53 foster brothers and sisters. Yes you heard right. 53 of us at different times. So the kids I mentor are no different than those I lived with. Point is that if I don't show up to help these kids then who is? Where are they going to be? I can't let them go to the streets so I have to take a stand and fight for them because no one else has or will.
Then there is my step dad. At 53 he had artery bi-pass surgery that was done incorrectly. The hospital let him go home twice with hospital grade staph infection. Even though it's been 4 years since the surgery, he was hospitalized this past week. He may still loose his foot. We'll know later on in the next couple of weeks. When he was home fighting the infection before, he refused to leave his recliner. He was so afraid that something would happen if he walked to far. This is not a quality of life. For 18 months he went as far as the kitchen to the bathroom and back to the recliner. It was terrible! I finally got him to go to the garage and look at his Harley. Because of the surgery they had done, he was not able to steady the bike or lean it to turn. I convinced him to get a side car for it. I think that the Harley was what saved him the last time. He ended up going on a 6,000 mile road trip on it. I pointed out that he could die in that recliner or he could die on the road or he could live. But if it were me I would be on the road and take my chances because at least I was having a quality of life that the recliner was not giving me. I have no regrets taking care of him again. He won't be living in that recliner either!!!!
Then there is school. I decided that I needed to complete my education. As I was lying in that hospital bed knowing that I could really die,because the doctors were telling me I was so close to it, I realized that I don't have time to die!
This is my world. People will say to me "Dawn you have to give up something in your life to make it easier for yourself!" OK normal people would, but tell me what do I have to give up? If I am not there for my responsibilities then someone pays a heavy price! So facing death has made me stronger and more driven. If I don't complete school, then the person I have not met yet who is needing my skills as a victim advocate won't get my help one day.
So I guess I realized that as long as everything works in one way and nothing goes wrong my life is ok. I know you are laughing! Life never goes the way we want it to.
I guess I have realized that when facing death, I realized how blessed I really am. I realized that I am too damn stubborn to die. I realized that everything is connected in life: I am in school to learn so I can help the one person I have not met yet that will need me. I will be better prepared when I do meet them because of what I have been through. So giving up is never the answer! In the meantime, I am willingly putting myself on the front lines of a battle that everyone else wants to ignore or not see with these kids they call delinquents. Who knows one day it may make a difference to one of them. Its hard to know where they will end up. Even they don't have a clue. It's hard to see hope when you don't know where your next meal will be. Still I believe in them. No matter what they do.
So this is my week. How was yours?
I guess I can relate to them being termed this because I was once the lost myself. Its not that I didn't have a parent who cared, I had a mother who went out of her way to try to save me but she was trying to care for another child who was with a potentially fatal illness. She did the best she could. I went to live with another family when we were in Texas. I am one of 53 foster brothers and sisters. Yes you heard right. 53 of us at different times. So the kids I mentor are no different than those I lived with. Point is that if I don't show up to help these kids then who is? Where are they going to be? I can't let them go to the streets so I have to take a stand and fight for them because no one else has or will.
Then there is my step dad. At 53 he had artery bi-pass surgery that was done incorrectly. The hospital let him go home twice with hospital grade staph infection. Even though it's been 4 years since the surgery, he was hospitalized this past week. He may still loose his foot. We'll know later on in the next couple of weeks. When he was home fighting the infection before, he refused to leave his recliner. He was so afraid that something would happen if he walked to far. This is not a quality of life. For 18 months he went as far as the kitchen to the bathroom and back to the recliner. It was terrible! I finally got him to go to the garage and look at his Harley. Because of the surgery they had done, he was not able to steady the bike or lean it to turn. I convinced him to get a side car for it. I think that the Harley was what saved him the last time. He ended up going on a 6,000 mile road trip on it. I pointed out that he could die in that recliner or he could die on the road or he could live. But if it were me I would be on the road and take my chances because at least I was having a quality of life that the recliner was not giving me. I have no regrets taking care of him again. He won't be living in that recliner either!!!!
Then there is school. I decided that I needed to complete my education. As I was lying in that hospital bed knowing that I could really die,because the doctors were telling me I was so close to it, I realized that I don't have time to die!
This is my world. People will say to me "Dawn you have to give up something in your life to make it easier for yourself!" OK normal people would, but tell me what do I have to give up? If I am not there for my responsibilities then someone pays a heavy price! So facing death has made me stronger and more driven. If I don't complete school, then the person I have not met yet who is needing my skills as a victim advocate won't get my help one day.
So I guess I realized that as long as everything works in one way and nothing goes wrong my life is ok. I know you are laughing! Life never goes the way we want it to.
I guess I have realized that when facing death, I realized how blessed I really am. I realized that I am too damn stubborn to die. I realized that everything is connected in life: I am in school to learn so I can help the one person I have not met yet that will need me. I will be better prepared when I do meet them because of what I have been through. So giving up is never the answer! In the meantime, I am willingly putting myself on the front lines of a battle that everyone else wants to ignore or not see with these kids they call delinquents. Who knows one day it may make a difference to one of them. Its hard to know where they will end up. Even they don't have a clue. It's hard to see hope when you don't know where your next meal will be. Still I believe in them. No matter what they do.
So this is my week. How was yours?
Where Does My Time Go
A wise person once said " Everyone gets the same amount of time in a day we all get the same 24 hours: It is how we spend these hours that is important."
I completed the few exercises and I have some thoughts on the results. I do not think that I procrastinate. I think that there are a things that I do not like to do but I know that they need to be done. It is called life. What my issue is is that I have a ton of responsibilities. In my life I have the following that fills my life:
My step dad had artery bipass surgery 3 years ago. He was sent home with Hospital Grade Staph Infection twice. This caused a lengthy hospital stay and more severe complications. Although he had not needed medical care since then, he was hospitalized last week and had to have emergency surgery. He had a blood clot that was moving toward his heart. I am now caring for him full time again. By the way I believe in having a quality of life. If he stays on his own he will be where he was 3 years ago and will be living in his recliner because he will be too afraid he will have another complication. So staying in the recliner is better than moving around. This is his mindset.
I have my volunteering that I do every week. I am responsible for mentoring abandoned kids. This takes up 40+ hours a week.
I have my schooling. I know that I have to work 30 hours if I want an A. I put in a lot of effort in to getting my classes done.
So when something goes wrong it is hard to regroup or refocus. I was hospitalized this past week for an intestinal flu. I ended up with the version that almost cost me my life ( literally). I was released this morning. So I am now re working my priorities and reworking my time to get back on track.
The issue is that I have to learn to say no more. I have to learn to budget my time, I also need to re evaluate how to accomplish all that I am responsible for.
Now by doing my worksheets, I realized that I can accomplish all that I need to but I need to really plan out how I do it. I can not change all the responsibilities that I have so I need to figure out how to make things work for what I am doing right now. I am sure I will think of more things as the week progresses so I am sure that I will write a continuing blog.
I completed the few exercises and I have some thoughts on the results. I do not think that I procrastinate. I think that there are a things that I do not like to do but I know that they need to be done. It is called life. What my issue is is that I have a ton of responsibilities. In my life I have the following that fills my life:
My step dad had artery bipass surgery 3 years ago. He was sent home with Hospital Grade Staph Infection twice. This caused a lengthy hospital stay and more severe complications. Although he had not needed medical care since then, he was hospitalized last week and had to have emergency surgery. He had a blood clot that was moving toward his heart. I am now caring for him full time again. By the way I believe in having a quality of life. If he stays on his own he will be where he was 3 years ago and will be living in his recliner because he will be too afraid he will have another complication. So staying in the recliner is better than moving around. This is his mindset.
I have my volunteering that I do every week. I am responsible for mentoring abandoned kids. This takes up 40+ hours a week.
I have my schooling. I know that I have to work 30 hours if I want an A. I put in a lot of effort in to getting my classes done.
So when something goes wrong it is hard to regroup or refocus. I was hospitalized this past week for an intestinal flu. I ended up with the version that almost cost me my life ( literally). I was released this morning. So I am now re working my priorities and reworking my time to get back on track.
The issue is that I have to learn to say no more. I have to learn to budget my time, I also need to re evaluate how to accomplish all that I am responsible for.
Now by doing my worksheets, I realized that I can accomplish all that I need to but I need to really plan out how I do it. I can not change all the responsibilities that I have so I need to figure out how to make things work for what I am doing right now. I am sure I will think of more things as the week progresses so I am sure that I will write a continuing blog.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Test Taking Stragegies
TEST TAKING STRAGIES
Tests are not my strong suit. However, I have learned some strategies that will help me. having a sense of humor always helps. Let's face it test taking is stressful as anything. We always tend to second guess ourselves.
1. Test taking is a reflection on what we have learned not necessarily ourselves. this means that I should be serious and focus my attention on the test but I should also realize that if I do not get the A+ I want, it is not the end of the world. It just means that I need to look at the material again more thouroughly. The Sun will come up tomorrow. So I do not put that extra pressure on myself.
2. Having said this I learned to meditate before the test. I break down the material into manageable sections. I also clear my mind.
3. Now this may seem silly but, women will understand this more than men. But test taking is like doing your nails in one way. When you do your nails, you will never have to go to the bathroom before you sit down to paint them, you'll have to go to the bathroom when your nails are still tacky and it will ruin them if you have to move. Tests are the exact same way! You will never have to go until you are settled in for the first 5 min of the test. So I always go to the bathroom before the test.
4. Now there is always a 50/50 that I am going to get an answer right so if I am really undecided I will go with my gut feeling. I am going to try reading the question to look for exact wording. Most answers on a true or false are TRUE. So reading the question thouroughly will help me decide if it is right.
I am more of a hands on learner. So I have to search for the answer in my mind by thinking of how the question and answer works. If it doesn't make sense then chances are its wrong. If it does then it's right.
Now I am also one of these people who is silly enough to think that if I pull an all nighter then I am going to do better on a test. I am working on this because I realize that I am not going to get a better grade by exhausting myself.
These are just a few things that I have learned about test taking.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Community Based Service Learning.
COMMUNITY BASED SERVICE LEARNING: WHAT I AM ALREADY DOING
When my oldest child was in high school, she and many of her friends, were going to a teen center in town. Now all I heard from teachers and parents was how horrible this place was. However there is a hypocritial side to this: It is also where the school sent all the children who would not graduate due to many reasons, to attend classes at the Quest Program. The Quest Program is taught by an ex marine who I would never want to say boo to. So how ironic: on one hand it is a terrible place and on the other we will send your child there in hopes he or she will graduate! HMMM!!!! so I naturally went in to the teen center to get my questions answered.
This was 3 years ago and what I found was a fantastic program that tries to overcome the issues that our children face today. The Junction Teen Center is a pilot program run on government funds that has a goal of helping children make good decisions so that they can become productive members of the community and society. The Quest Program is part of this and it has helped many kids graduate school that would not have other wise. So I began volunteering there.
Now what people need to understand is that every community has issues! In my area heroine has taken over at a staggering rate. Its the dark side of the Upper Valley. Many of these kids at the Junction have lived lives that many adults have not. No one cares about these kids. Many have criminal records already. Too many have either been thrown out by a parent at the age of 14 and are homeless. There are many who have either a parent incarcerated for a long time and the other parent is dead, or both parents are dead due to overdosing. These kids get labeled and then are in trouble in school so the school throws them out as well. This is the cold hard facts they face every day. The Junction Teen Center is the only place they can even call a home and often times the one meal a day that they get is provided by the center.
In the past few years I have volunteered, I have had 25 kids that call me MOM. Some have gone back to school and graduated against all odds. Some have come off drugs and alcohol abuse. Some are still homeless and sadly some are in prison because it was too late to save them. I still have hope that this will change. You can never give up on people, you can only understand why they made bad choices. I do take it personally when they end up in prison. I feel I didn't do enough. But its not the case.
Anyways the point is that Community Bases Service Learning does make a huge difference to the community and the people involved. I know this for a fact. I want to continue to research the idea of volunteering and volunteering at the teen center. If there was no teen center in White River Junction then many of the kids it services would be dead right now. We teach life skills, and job skills. So its worth while!
Goals
Goals
Long Term Goal 1: Utilize the skills I have learned throughout life to become Victim Advocate.
Why: Survived being a victim of Violent crime as a child. Promised myself that I
Would not continue to give the power over my life to my offender by
continuing to be a victim. I promised to be a survivor and to help other people!
Short Term Goal 1: Find new School with a degree plan that accomplishes my goals.
Why: I am 42 years old. Gravity stinks! and I do not want to be unhealthy for the
rest of my life. Metabolism slows down every 7 years. So I will do a better job
of eating better and toning up. I have in my mind a picture of what I want to
look like.
Short Term Goal 1: Make a commitment to myself that I will set a target goal for what area
of my body I am going to change. and when
Long Term Goal 1: Utilize the skills I have learned throughout life to become Victim Advocate.
Why: Survived being a victim of Violent crime as a child. Promised myself that I
Would not continue to give the power over my life to my offender by
continuing to be a victim. I promised to be a survivor and to help other people!
Short Term Goal 1: Find new School with a degree plan that accomplishes my goals.
- Check into many educational options: Kaplan, Hesser College.
- Ask many questions of the ad visor's I speak to.
- Make decision.
- Once decided on school clear out the junk! All the negative thoughts, deal with the issues that will get in the way of my decision ( family, friends, who think its dumb) Cut out negative thought patterns.
- Get organized: Find my planner, Write realistic goals and how I'm going to get there. Schedule in time for all responsibilities.
- Create Master Calendar for each class. Post it where I can see it every day!
- Color code Assignments so I know when they are due- Prioritize my time to accomplish them.
- Schedule my week in my planner around what is absolute and what is not as important.
- ( I tend to have everyone Else's issues creep in)
- When I am told that it will be an extra 15 hours of school work a week, know it is really 20+hours extra. Schedule it so I can accomplish it.
- Read and take objective notes. I have ADD so I need to work on focus more.
- Get the most out of classes. GPA is great but what am I learning?- Review!!!
- Teach the kids I volunteer what I have learned so they may see that there is still a way out for them and they do not have to live a life of crime! That way I'm reviewing what I am taught and applying it in real life!
Why: I am 42 years old. Gravity stinks! and I do not want to be unhealthy for the
rest of my life. Metabolism slows down every 7 years. So I will do a better job
of eating better and toning up. I have in my mind a picture of what I want to
look like.
Short Term Goal 1: Make a commitment to myself that I will set a target goal for what area
of my body I am going to change. and when
- Walking 3 times a week.
- Work out with the weights I bought 5 yrs ago- use them not let them continue to collect dust!
- Learn to Zumba!!
- Every evening grab coffee and just sit under the stars- Makes me realize how small my issues really are.
- Every day just find 10 things I am grateful for: Journalize how far Ive come. If I can't find anything to write about then remember there is always the fact that I am breathing! I am not homeless and where I am right now will not be where I am going to be in 5 years from now.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Strengths essay by Dawn Kempton
My Strengths are Connectedness, Adaptability,Empathy, Strategic, Positivity
Well I have found that all of these have been accurate throughout my life. I do know that everything in life is connected and I do not believe in coincidences. Every thing happens for a reason. We may not always know what the reason is but it does happen for a reason. Some points in my life I have been very sure that the reason I was over looked for a promotion or did not get a car I wanted was because some higher power was looking out for me. I also can say that there have been many times when I have had to look back and ask" What in the h!#@@ was the point of that happening?" So it is all realative. I do think that many times we create our own fate so to speak.
I can say that these skills have come into play in this first week of classes. I also can say that I am still having challenges with tech issues and with the normal getting into the swing of things. So far this week, I have had tech issues with linking the blog page( still an ongoing issue) my computer dying without warning! Having to get a new one. Trying to balance my home responsibilities school and volunteering. So staying positive has been a challenge. I also realized that I had been doing my blogs in Word so when the linking issues were over I could cut and paste them and not be failing this class. Well they were all on my old computer and since it wont even turn on I am getting to redo the entire thing for both classes I am taking. Yea me!
So I see how my top 5 traits have come into play. I was strategic in deciding to write my assignments in Word I was able to adapt to the situation I have been dealt with the tech issues, I know that by taking classes, someone in need will be needing my help and I will be ready to help them when I graduate and am able to be a victim advocate. Right now I am needed to be in school learning how to help them and they are having to go through their own issues so that i can be of help to them. I am able to understand them better because I am empathetic. And The most challenging of all is for me to work on being positive!!!
I found that whenever someone decides to go to school or make a life change, the universe often starts throwing curve balls at you. I think it is to see if you are really serious about what you are doing. I have found the universe has a sense of humor that is not always the same as you or me. Staying positive and focused is what gets you through. I am glad that all of this happened on the first week of classes and not the end.
Dawn
Well I have found that all of these have been accurate throughout my life. I do know that everything in life is connected and I do not believe in coincidences. Every thing happens for a reason. We may not always know what the reason is but it does happen for a reason. Some points in my life I have been very sure that the reason I was over looked for a promotion or did not get a car I wanted was because some higher power was looking out for me. I also can say that there have been many times when I have had to look back and ask" What in the h!#@@ was the point of that happening?" So it is all realative. I do think that many times we create our own fate so to speak.
I can say that these skills have come into play in this first week of classes. I also can say that I am still having challenges with tech issues and with the normal getting into the swing of things. So far this week, I have had tech issues with linking the blog page( still an ongoing issue) my computer dying without warning! Having to get a new one. Trying to balance my home responsibilities school and volunteering. So staying positive has been a challenge. I also realized that I had been doing my blogs in Word so when the linking issues were over I could cut and paste them and not be failing this class. Well they were all on my old computer and since it wont even turn on I am getting to redo the entire thing for both classes I am taking. Yea me!
So I see how my top 5 traits have come into play. I was strategic in deciding to write my assignments in Word I was able to adapt to the situation I have been dealt with the tech issues, I know that by taking classes, someone in need will be needing my help and I will be ready to help them when I graduate and am able to be a victim advocate. Right now I am needed to be in school learning how to help them and they are having to go through their own issues so that i can be of help to them. I am able to understand them better because I am empathetic. And The most challenging of all is for me to work on being positive!!!
I found that whenever someone decides to go to school or make a life change, the universe often starts throwing curve balls at you. I think it is to see if you are really serious about what you are doing. I have found the universe has a sense of humor that is not always the same as you or me. Staying positive and focused is what gets you through. I am glad that all of this happened on the first week of classes and not the end.
Dawn
Still having issues
Ok Again I am having issues getting this to work. So I am doing this as a test blog to see if it goes to where it should. I really hope it does Nina. You have been very helpful Could you please let me know that it went through. Thank You
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