I have found a few blogs on being a victim advocate. Since the field does not have enough of advocates, due to budget cuts and funding, the blogs are dated. What I have come up with is the reason why I want to persue this career and information I have been able to gather from prosecutors and defense attorneys. Their advice has been invaluable along the way.
This term was like the rest in that I had the best of intentions on getting all my work done in a timely manner, all the while the nightmare of the past year continues to play out in my life. Last year my brother was murdered while he was walking out of work to the parking garage next to the refinery he worked at. The man who shot him stole $28.00. Yep this is what a life is worth these days. For months the State of Texas looked for the man and couldn't find him. As the year anniversary of my brother's death approached the police received a tip and subsequently the man was arrested. Yea my family thought! Yea because some justice would happen. We couldn't have an open casket because my brother had no face. So some sort of justice for him would be nice. Three weeks ago the trial ended. The man, who was a MS13 gang member, was let go on a technicality. Apparently there was information that was not shared during the discovery process. Yep I do not understand how a person can blow off someones face for $28.00, admit that they did it, and walk out of court a free person. I have been trying to digest this for three weeks now... The man will not be tried again because of the Double Jeopardy laws, which means that once you are tried and found not guilty, you can not be tried again for the same crime. Sadly, this man will kill someone else and it is a fact! He was caught because he was assaulting another person but that person lived. Go Figure!
From everything I have been told by prosecutor's, victim advocates and defense attorneys, to be an advocate you have to volunteer. This means that you have to volunteer at domestic abuse shelter's, homeless shelters, police departments and/ or live through experience a violent crime. The reasoning behind it is that it is great to have book smarts but it does not compare for actual " street experience." I can not help but wonder if my brother's murder and the injustice that happened at trial counts as " street experience". I do believe that it certainly does! I think I can understand pain and have empathy for others. I do not wish the pain on anyone else. So I have found that I have two choices in life, a) get up and follow my dreams of having this career so I can help someone who will need it, or b) curl up and let anger make me loose focus and direction to it consumes me. I am fighting for option A. Otherwise this man wins and continues to have power and control over me and my family.
Yes I do think that I need to refocus my energies a tad. I need to focus on getting better grades and completing all that I started. This is another suggestion of all the people I have talked to. It is solid advice. Because there is such a great need for advocates but budget cuts have limited jobs, I need to really work hard so that I stand out. Maybe it is how I am handling or honoring my brother's memory. Follow my dreams because someone is going to need my help one day. The point is to never give up but always get back up when life throws you down , and stand up tall!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Final Word of Wisdom for Everyone- Dawn Style
Well here we are at the end of this class. I have had so much fun in this class. I also have really enjoyed and have learned so much because of all of my classmates. Here are some parting words of encouragement and wisdom.
Each of you are destined for Greatness! Think about it like this, no matter what age you are, you can relate to this. We live in a world that is both awesome and small. Everything is connected. Think Facebook. On a much larger scale, companies and organizations from hospitals to small companies all interact with companies oversees. 15 years ago, there was no such thing as distance education. The economy was also stable all over the world as well. Somewhere along a idiotic group of people found greed to be more important than doing what is right. Here we are folks! Every one of us has been touched by the economic crisis in some way. Yet we all have decided to make an investment in ourselves by going to school! So let's all make a decision right here and right now to be a heck of a lot smarter and wiser on our decisions than the idiots who let greed ruin it for everyone. We are all destined for Greatness! Let our talents shine and use our powers to give back. If we all do this in our own way then we can help make things better for everyone we meet. This is really what this class has been about. We all learned that we have talents, strengths and skills, we need to use these daily and be ethical all the time. I am so happy that I got to know all of you. You are all very wise people. I look forward to hearing where everyone is in 10 years and how you changed the world! Think it's impossible? It is not.
NEVER give up on your dreams! NEVER give up on yourselves. There will be roadblocks along the way. Some will be our own doing but most likely it will be someone else who puts them there intentionally or not. Remember it took Thomas Edison 1000 tries before he discovered how to harness electricity! What would have happened if he had given up at time 1000? We would be all sitting in the dark! There would be no distance education, no world communications, no I phone or I pad, no X box or PS3 No microwave and " God forbid" no Facebook. So thankfully he decided to try 1001 times. Point is Never Give up!!!
In closing, remember All of you ROCK!!! It has been an honor and a privlege to know all of you. I hope to see you again in other classes.
Link to my Reflections
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1xN-M5N79DxdMBgp1SuNeegWumUkrdSZ79Uzky6NiF5Q/edits.
:
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1gJcns4w0I1_nAufowgSQGy65wV83vpv_CWrkjBdvBxU/edit?pli=1
Each of you are destined for Greatness! Think about it like this, no matter what age you are, you can relate to this. We live in a world that is both awesome and small. Everything is connected. Think Facebook. On a much larger scale, companies and organizations from hospitals to small companies all interact with companies oversees. 15 years ago, there was no such thing as distance education. The economy was also stable all over the world as well. Somewhere along a idiotic group of people found greed to be more important than doing what is right. Here we are folks! Every one of us has been touched by the economic crisis in some way. Yet we all have decided to make an investment in ourselves by going to school! So let's all make a decision right here and right now to be a heck of a lot smarter and wiser on our decisions than the idiots who let greed ruin it for everyone. We are all destined for Greatness! Let our talents shine and use our powers to give back. If we all do this in our own way then we can help make things better for everyone we meet. This is really what this class has been about. We all learned that we have talents, strengths and skills, we need to use these daily and be ethical all the time. I am so happy that I got to know all of you. You are all very wise people. I look forward to hearing where everyone is in 10 years and how you changed the world! Think it's impossible? It is not.
NEVER give up on your dreams! NEVER give up on yourselves. There will be roadblocks along the way. Some will be our own doing but most likely it will be someone else who puts them there intentionally or not. Remember it took Thomas Edison 1000 tries before he discovered how to harness electricity! What would have happened if he had given up at time 1000? We would be all sitting in the dark! There would be no distance education, no world communications, no I phone or I pad, no X box or PS3 No microwave and " God forbid" no Facebook. So thankfully he decided to try 1001 times. Point is Never Give up!!!
In closing, remember All of you ROCK!!! It has been an honor and a privlege to know all of you. I hope to see you again in other classes.
Link to my Reflections
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1xN-M5N79DxdMBgp1SuNeegWumUkrdSZ79Uzky6NiF5Q/edits.
:
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/document/d/1gJcns4w0I1_nAufowgSQGy65wV83vpv_CWrkjBdvBxU/edit?pli=1
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Supposed Link to Group B's presentation
https://docs.google.com/a/hesser.edu/present/edit?id=0AbZPhdrq-4sdZGNnNzh2bmZfMGZ6M2Zocmdy
I copied and pasted the link. So I am hoping that this really does work.
I copied and pasted the link. So I am hoping that this really does work.
Monday, February 20, 2012
STRESS RELIEF 101 DAWN'S WAY
The scope of this assignment was to go out and do something. Well, I have my own few ways of dealing with stress. I refer to them as Stress Relief 101 Dawn's Way. I hope that you get a couple of giggles and may even try some as well. I have a very stressful life! I admit this fully. I have always realized that there are degrees of stress. So I have the Coffee Cup Stress Relief as a cleans All! I have the relax and rejuvenate stress relief and I have the Keep from Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy.
On a normal basis, I find that I have to rejuvenate or recharge my batteries. Let's face it life throws a ton of stuff at us that we have to deal with. Some of it is our own stuff and some of it is not our stuff at all, yet it creeps into our lives constantly. Our own stuff is things like how do we balance our check books, the bills, our kids lives, work, school, our parents and illnesses. Things that are not ours but we own them as well are the stupid things that people throw at us. In my case it is the murder of my brother, the neighbor's who have no life and I should not have one either, the drama queen at work etc. So I have found that I have to have at least 1 hour per day where I just sit under the stars. You see I found that I also had to take a long hard look at how I can just deal with people or not... I established boundaries! It has been a process but it has been a well worth process. If it does not pertain to me or my family in an immediate way, I don't let it in. This is not to say that there are some things that do not come into my life that I am forced to deal with, but I try to keep a balance by fulfilling my life with positives.
I also am very into scentology. Yes it really does exist. Sometimes I burn a scented candle while I am sitting under the stars. See when you look at the stars on a clear night you begin to see constellations that you never saw before. Did you know that it takes the planet Venus 5 years to make its rotation? It makes a star shape in the sky that takes 5 years to complete. You get to see the coolest meteor showers too. It all reminds us that they have been there for hundred's of millions of years. So what ever we are going through is temporary and quite small when you think about it. I am not trying to lighten anything that someone else is going through. I realized this when I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. It somehow helped me when I decided to leave. I think it was the one habit I got into that made me feel better and I have carried it through life since then. The point is that when you smell something that you find pleasant or sit doing something quiet, it is YOU time, and you will find that you slowly put things into perspective and stress goes away. I can not change the fact that my brother was murdered over $28 or that the perpetrator has not be caught nor will be, I can control what I do with my life. I can control my grades, my time with my family, my stress relief and who I choose to hang out with.
The Keep From Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy is simple: I always write in a journal all the things I am grateful for. When I have a bad day, I write: Breathing! I believe that one should always be grateful for what they have no matter how small it is. Then I establish what I lovingly refer to as " Lists" I have found that there are 3 lists in life: People and situations fall into the 3 at some point. 1. The " Popular as a Fart in a Space Suite List" These are the people and situations that are the unnecessary Drama. It is the intentional things that are on this list. You know the types of people and drama they cause. Its never really your stuff it's theirs but they try to make it yours. So anyone on that list I stay away from. 2. The "Useful as a Screen Door on a Submarine List": This is the Stupid stuff that happens or people cause, or people who refuse to handle their own stuff so it becomes you issue. We all have them at work. 3. The " Normal and Good People List" This is the 85% of the people who I know. These are the people who are there to encourage and inspire you . So if I eliminate the other 15% in the other 2 lists then I am not going to get stressed out in the first place.
The extreme stress reliever is the COFFEE CUP Stress Reliever. I have done this 3 times in my life and it was about every 15 years and it saves money on therapy. Side effect is that everyone knows that I have finally had enough if I get to this point. I buy coffee cups from the dollar store put them in a trash bag and take a 25lb sledge hammer to them. Usually there is nothing but ceramic powder left when I am done. I envision every situation or person who has tried to make my life hell as I am pounding the coffee cups. It works! I feel better and in control again. The point is not to get so stressed that I have to go to the coffee cup stage. I have reserved it for situations like my brother's murder, the police saying they have no leads etc.
I also enjoy playing Borderlands and MW3 on the PS3. I find that it is a great way to get out annoyances. Life is a crazy and wonderful thing. Having less stress makes us better people and better to our families and to ourselves.
On a normal basis, I find that I have to rejuvenate or recharge my batteries. Let's face it life throws a ton of stuff at us that we have to deal with. Some of it is our own stuff and some of it is not our stuff at all, yet it creeps into our lives constantly. Our own stuff is things like how do we balance our check books, the bills, our kids lives, work, school, our parents and illnesses. Things that are not ours but we own them as well are the stupid things that people throw at us. In my case it is the murder of my brother, the neighbor's who have no life and I should not have one either, the drama queen at work etc. So I have found that I have to have at least 1 hour per day where I just sit under the stars. You see I found that I also had to take a long hard look at how I can just deal with people or not... I established boundaries! It has been a process but it has been a well worth process. If it does not pertain to me or my family in an immediate way, I don't let it in. This is not to say that there are some things that do not come into my life that I am forced to deal with, but I try to keep a balance by fulfilling my life with positives.
I also am very into scentology. Yes it really does exist. Sometimes I burn a scented candle while I am sitting under the stars. See when you look at the stars on a clear night you begin to see constellations that you never saw before. Did you know that it takes the planet Venus 5 years to make its rotation? It makes a star shape in the sky that takes 5 years to complete. You get to see the coolest meteor showers too. It all reminds us that they have been there for hundred's of millions of years. So what ever we are going through is temporary and quite small when you think about it. I am not trying to lighten anything that someone else is going through. I realized this when I was in an abusive marriage several years ago. It somehow helped me when I decided to leave. I think it was the one habit I got into that made me feel better and I have carried it through life since then. The point is that when you smell something that you find pleasant or sit doing something quiet, it is YOU time, and you will find that you slowly put things into perspective and stress goes away. I can not change the fact that my brother was murdered over $28 or that the perpetrator has not be caught nor will be, I can control what I do with my life. I can control my grades, my time with my family, my stress relief and who I choose to hang out with.
The Keep From Getting Stressed Out in the First Place remedy is simple: I always write in a journal all the things I am grateful for. When I have a bad day, I write: Breathing! I believe that one should always be grateful for what they have no matter how small it is. Then I establish what I lovingly refer to as " Lists" I have found that there are 3 lists in life: People and situations fall into the 3 at some point. 1. The " Popular as a Fart in a Space Suite List" These are the people and situations that are the unnecessary Drama. It is the intentional things that are on this list. You know the types of people and drama they cause. Its never really your stuff it's theirs but they try to make it yours. So anyone on that list I stay away from. 2. The "Useful as a Screen Door on a Submarine List": This is the Stupid stuff that happens or people cause, or people who refuse to handle their own stuff so it becomes you issue. We all have them at work. 3. The " Normal and Good People List" This is the 85% of the people who I know. These are the people who are there to encourage and inspire you . So if I eliminate the other 15% in the other 2 lists then I am not going to get stressed out in the first place.
The extreme stress reliever is the COFFEE CUP Stress Reliever. I have done this 3 times in my life and it was about every 15 years and it saves money on therapy. Side effect is that everyone knows that I have finally had enough if I get to this point. I buy coffee cups from the dollar store put them in a trash bag and take a 25lb sledge hammer to them. Usually there is nothing but ceramic powder left when I am done. I envision every situation or person who has tried to make my life hell as I am pounding the coffee cups. It works! I feel better and in control again. The point is not to get so stressed that I have to go to the coffee cup stage. I have reserved it for situations like my brother's murder, the police saying they have no leads etc.
I also enjoy playing Borderlands and MW3 on the PS3. I find that it is a great way to get out annoyances. Life is a crazy and wonderful thing. Having less stress makes us better people and better to our families and to ourselves.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Week 6 Academic Advising Post
My meeting with my academic adviser went very well. I registered for my classes next term. I will be taking Composition I and Philosophy. I am really looking forward to these classes. The biggest challenge for me is the technical issues that I am still being plagued by. I am sure that these will be straightened out eventually. I am certainly hoping that they will since I am now failing a class because of them. We agreed that being in constant communication like we have been is the key to my success. We also discussed exactly what it is I want to do for a career so that I can pick classes that will help me.
I learned that Hesser has a wonderful and dedicated group of people who want us to succeed and they are dedicated to making this happen. This is important because you certainly do not always get this when you are attending other colleges. Sometimes colleges can get so big that students become a number and the personal contact and interaction is lost. I am saying this from personal experience. I am very impressed and actually feel blessed that I found Hesser. I have every confidence that as long as I put forth the effort that the school will continue to help me. It is nice to have a school that gets as emotionally involved as the student when it comes to their success.
I am sure that there will be questions that arise as time goes on but these questions will be answered in a great way.
I learned that Hesser has a wonderful and dedicated group of people who want us to succeed and they are dedicated to making this happen. This is important because you certainly do not always get this when you are attending other colleges. Sometimes colleges can get so big that students become a number and the personal contact and interaction is lost. I am saying this from personal experience. I am very impressed and actually feel blessed that I found Hesser. I have every confidence that as long as I put forth the effort that the school will continue to help me. It is nice to have a school that gets as emotionally involved as the student when it comes to their success.
I am sure that there will be questions that arise as time goes on but these questions will be answered in a great way.
An Explaination to My Classmates
I would like to take a moment to thank my classmates and our instructor for their inspiration and give an explaination;
This has been a very difficult year for me. Sometimes there are just things that happen that we have no control over. I have found that through these experiences, my relationships with the remaining family I have are either strained or strengthened. A few months ago my foster brother was brutally murdered for $28. Apparently this is what a life costs these days. My brother was in the parking garage of his work minding his own business when the perpatraitor decided to shoot him in the head.The person who committed the murder has never been caught. Since Texas is a large state, they may never catch him. After a surgery and life support we had to take him off of it when it became apparent that he was not going to be any better. I can not tell you how beyond angry I am about this situation!
When I made the decision to return to school, it was because I am trying to redo my life. Grief has a cycle like so many other things in life. I owe my classmates an apology if some of my blogs come out as sort of dark. I am still getting my bearings on things again. This is a rebuilding process for me. I think what happens when you loose someone close is that you go through this period of uncertainty. I fluctuate between anger and uncertainty on where I am going. So all I can do is be vertical and breath and know that I will come through it someday. School is my escape from the horror that is my life right now.
So when I post that I am have had to change my goals and other things it is because I am still rethinking and rebuilding my life. I think I am trying to give my brother's life meaning by trying to live it because he is not here.
I again wanted to thank you for your understanding apologize.
Dawn
This has been a very difficult year for me. Sometimes there are just things that happen that we have no control over. I have found that through these experiences, my relationships with the remaining family I have are either strained or strengthened. A few months ago my foster brother was brutally murdered for $28. Apparently this is what a life costs these days. My brother was in the parking garage of his work minding his own business when the perpatraitor decided to shoot him in the head.The person who committed the murder has never been caught. Since Texas is a large state, they may never catch him. After a surgery and life support we had to take him off of it when it became apparent that he was not going to be any better. I can not tell you how beyond angry I am about this situation!
When I made the decision to return to school, it was because I am trying to redo my life. Grief has a cycle like so many other things in life. I owe my classmates an apology if some of my blogs come out as sort of dark. I am still getting my bearings on things again. This is a rebuilding process for me. I think what happens when you loose someone close is that you go through this period of uncertainty. I fluctuate between anger and uncertainty on where I am going. So all I can do is be vertical and breath and know that I will come through it someday. School is my escape from the horror that is my life right now.
So when I post that I am have had to change my goals and other things it is because I am still rethinking and rebuilding my life. I think I am trying to give my brother's life meaning by trying to live it because he is not here.
I again wanted to thank you for your understanding apologize.
Dawn
GOALS REDONE
At the beginning of this class I created some goals for classes and my life. Since then I have realized that some of these goals have been outdated or out molded and therefore need to change or be eliminated. The rest of them need to be reworked so that I can accomplish them.
Maybe my brain is wired differently than other's but I tend to have to look literally at where I want to go time wise. So I break things down for myself. I have a 5 year plan and then a 3 year and then what I want to accomplish in the next year. From there I break things down further. Having explained how I do things, here is what I am working on for the next year.
Goal 1. Master Plan.
A) Review my Major Goals for next 3-5 yrs. Develop Master Plan with all the steps to accomplish or be moving toward my ultimate goals.
Goal 2: Creating a stress free environment.
A) The Self Reflection Blog helped me see how beneficial it can be when I am in a stress free environment to write. I will carry this into other areas of my life.
B) Carve Out a Corner of My House that's MINE! Claim it- Make it MY OWN! this is where I do all my work. Its where creativity and positive energy flow. ( I have tried this and it is amazing that it really works. )
Goal 3: Class Goals
A) Get all things turned in on time.
B) Use my planner RELIGIOUSLY!! This will help me when it comes to distractions and time management issues.
C) Work on Service Learning Project and all other major projects a head of time.
I think that much of my goals will be accomplished by implementing the skills that I learned in this class. I am also working on seeing the big picture more and how it connects to what is going on in the moment. I have goals and things that I am working on that are not " tangible" in that they are not something that I can write down and see or have a plan of action to achieve. It is important though. For example Changing how one looks at doing something may not be able to be expressed into words but it is still something that a person works on.
Personal Goals
Tone Up and be 15% body fat.
A) Develop a workout routine that inspires me.
a) Trade smoking for Zumba
b) Have fun while unstressing
Career Goals
Victim Advocate through the State Of New Hampshire.
a) Work on resume. this is a continuing process
b) Chose Classes carefully that will develop and utilize my strengths I learned I had through this class.
c) Network and use contacts and friendships I have developed over the years to meet new people in the field.
d) Interview people in the field now to find what skills I will need to develop.
e) Volunteer! volunteer at the local teen center, the homeless shelter and domestic violence shelter. Also volunteer at the VA and AA. Expose myself to the " real side" of life. Facts are that in my chosen career I will not be dealing with the pretty side of life all the time. So by volunteering I can be helpful and it keeps me in touch with what really goes on in the real world. Builds empathy but also gives me motivation to do my job to the best of my ability and it also helps me be proactive by doing something.
In a nut shell, I am in the process of recovering and redoing my life. This happens when you have a tragedy and your find that you have grown more than you realize. It has not been a year since my foster brother was murdered in the parking garage of his place of work. The attacker robbed him of $28.00 before shooting him in the head. 3 months of life support and surgery we had to take him off life support. The shooter has never been caught. This is what has motivated me to be a victim advocate. I miss my brother very much he was a hardworking man. He would want me to do something to help others but he would also want me to try to understand the type of person who killed him. This is why my goals have had to change somewhat.
Maybe my brain is wired differently than other's but I tend to have to look literally at where I want to go time wise. So I break things down for myself. I have a 5 year plan and then a 3 year and then what I want to accomplish in the next year. From there I break things down further. Having explained how I do things, here is what I am working on for the next year.
Goal 1. Master Plan.
A) Review my Major Goals for next 3-5 yrs. Develop Master Plan with all the steps to accomplish or be moving toward my ultimate goals.
Goal 2: Creating a stress free environment.
A) The Self Reflection Blog helped me see how beneficial it can be when I am in a stress free environment to write. I will carry this into other areas of my life.
B) Carve Out a Corner of My House that's MINE! Claim it- Make it MY OWN! this is where I do all my work. Its where creativity and positive energy flow. ( I have tried this and it is amazing that it really works. )
Goal 3: Class Goals
A) Get all things turned in on time.
B) Use my planner RELIGIOUSLY!! This will help me when it comes to distractions and time management issues.
C) Work on Service Learning Project and all other major projects a head of time.
I think that much of my goals will be accomplished by implementing the skills that I learned in this class. I am also working on seeing the big picture more and how it connects to what is going on in the moment. I have goals and things that I am working on that are not " tangible" in that they are not something that I can write down and see or have a plan of action to achieve. It is important though. For example Changing how one looks at doing something may not be able to be expressed into words but it is still something that a person works on.
Personal Goals
Tone Up and be 15% body fat.
A) Develop a workout routine that inspires me.
a) Trade smoking for Zumba
b) Have fun while unstressing
Career Goals
Victim Advocate through the State Of New Hampshire.
a) Work on resume. this is a continuing process
b) Chose Classes carefully that will develop and utilize my strengths I learned I had through this class.
c) Network and use contacts and friendships I have developed over the years to meet new people in the field.
d) Interview people in the field now to find what skills I will need to develop.
e) Volunteer! volunteer at the local teen center, the homeless shelter and domestic violence shelter. Also volunteer at the VA and AA. Expose myself to the " real side" of life. Facts are that in my chosen career I will not be dealing with the pretty side of life all the time. So by volunteering I can be helpful and it keeps me in touch with what really goes on in the real world. Builds empathy but also gives me motivation to do my job to the best of my ability and it also helps me be proactive by doing something.
In a nut shell, I am in the process of recovering and redoing my life. This happens when you have a tragedy and your find that you have grown more than you realize. It has not been a year since my foster brother was murdered in the parking garage of his place of work. The attacker robbed him of $28.00 before shooting him in the head. 3 months of life support and surgery we had to take him off life support. The shooter has never been caught. This is what has motivated me to be a victim advocate. I miss my brother very much he was a hardworking man. He would want me to do something to help others but he would also want me to try to understand the type of person who killed him. This is why my goals have had to change somewhat.
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